GROKARINA HOME FOR THE PEOPLE THAT BELONG IN A LOONEY BIN Marla- Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (Herman and Pattula look frightened) Herman- O.k. Pattula, it's your turn. Pattula-O.k. Marla- Well, what are you waiting for? Pattula-It was an ordinary day, well, almost ordinary in the Grokarina Home for the People That Belong in a Looney Bin. Herman- There is no place like that! These are supposed to be true. Marla- Yeah. Pattula-It is every word of this story is true, well, according to the diary of. . ., of . . . Herman- Of who? Pattula-Well, I prefer not to talk about it, I mean my parents told me not to talk about it that much. Marla- Please tell us, we won't tell anyone. Herman- Yeah, I promise. Pinky Swear. Pattula-That's not neccessary, just don't tell anyone, but my, well, my great great uncle Farley was, well, what is called a psychopath. Marla- So what? It's not like he's that close of a relative or anything. Pattula-Actually, he is. My great great uncle Farley was my father's great uncle. It just so happened that my great great uncle Farley had a child. This child was my grandmother on my mothers side. When my father and my mother got married, they didn't know how closely related they were. It wasn't until just recently that they found out. About a year ago, my mother received a letter that her grandfather, Farley, had just died in Grokarina Home for the People that Belong in a Loony Bin. Just a couple of weeks ago my dad was looking through all are old mail. He came across that very letter. He recognized the name Farley Jones, it was his great uncle. My mother and my father did some research and they found out that they were very closely related. (Kamilina walks into the circle) Kamilina-Hi Pattula-What took so long? Kamilina-Mom made me wash the dishes, how did you get off so easily? Pattula-I asked Dad if I could leave. Kamilina-You have to do the dishes tomorrow. Pattula-No I don't. Marla- You guys, no sibling rivalry is neccessary. Pattula-And you and Herman never fight? Herman- Pattula tell us the rest of the story. Pattula-Kamilina can tell you. Kamilina-What are you telling? Pattula-What was in great uncle Farley's diary. Kamilina-Ooh, I'm telling Mom, you weren't supposed to tell anyone. Pattula-Then you tell it. Kamilina-Fine, I will. Where are you? Pattula-At the begining. Kamilina-Then I didn't miss anything. This is what happened. (INTERMISSION) Farley- Nice day here in the zoo. Maid- Yes, definately. Here is your breakfast, bacon and eggs. Farley- Yummy donuts. Maid- (mumbles) I have to play along. Farley- These donuts are good. Maid- You can come out to the lobby when you are finished. Farley- I'm finished now. Prunella-What is your name? Hilda- My name is Josie. Prunella-Not you, Hilda! Hilda- I'm not Hilda! My name is Josie. Farley- Then how come your name tag says donut? Hilda- Did you say donut? I love donuts. Prunella-Since when did you like donuts? Hilda- Elsie loves donuts! Prunella-Who is Elsie? Hilda- Me! Maid- Elsieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Hilda- Grhh! Grhh! Shut Up! Maid- My, my, my, aren't we a little cranky? Hilda- You think my name is we? We? For your information, my name is Gumby! and I'm not cranky! Maid- Prunella, lets run away from this awful place, I hate this job and I've even been threatened to be put in this place! I know you hate it too, so lets go. Prunella-Where to? Maid- I know a perfect place. Farley- I'm gonna' recite a poem. O.k.? Hilda- Go ahead. Farley- I am a donut, A donut am I. When I see you, It makes me die. For you are not a donut, A donut you are not. I am a donut, A donut am I. I wake up in the morning, Only to see the maid, Eating all my donuts, I think I'm going insane. Insane am I going, Insane am I. In the morning sunrise, I wake up to my surprise, To find all of my donuts eaten by the flys. "Flys are nice," I say to myself, But I end up swating them with my bookshelf. A computer would be nice to have. But then I could not cut it to pieces, For it would be to expensive. I want a hair dryer to eat As many donuts as I have feet. I have never had a dog, And I have never had a frog, And I have never had a hog, And I have never had a smog, And I have never had a mog, And I have never had a rat. Oh, a dog have I never had, Oh, a frog have I never had, Oh, a hog have I never ha . . . . . Hilda- SHUT UP! Prunella-No one noticed and we are back! Maid- Oops! (INTERMISSION II) Kamilina-Then he died from a clogging up of his arteries. Marla- That's all? Herman-That's the story? Pattula-Well, that could happen to us. Marla- That's dumb. Herman- Let's go. THE END